Let's Play Pokemon Pearl Part 2: STFU already

Where we last left off, we were on our way to Professor Rowan's lab, but before we head to Sandgem town, we will go to the left to get...

Remember kids, always take free stuff from strangers.

Since we have something in our bag, I might as well explain a little bit:

Items: Generic items that aren't used on our Pokemon.
Ex-Repel, Escape Rope
Medicine: Any item to heal or cure our Pokemon's ailments.
Ex-Potion, Marijuana
Pokeballs: Balls to catch wild Pokemon.
Ex-Dese balls, Harry balls
TM's and HM's: Technical and Hidden Machines. Teaches Pokemon moves they might otherwise never learn.
Ex-TM01-Focus Punch, HM05-Defog
Berries:Delicious
Mail: Holds our beautifully colorful printed letters.
Battle Items: Items to promote a violent battle.
Ex- X-PWN
Key Items: Things you can't throw away.
Ex-Your blankey from when you were two yrs old.

Now that that's over with, on to Sandgem town!

She must be planning to take me on a long trek...

Five steps away? Moving on, we bump into Satan again, What is he doing? Being a little devil of course (crickets chirp). Corny Joke Count - infinite

Satan: Hey, Absent, you're here.
Absent: Well, I have the same business to take care of with the professor.
Satan: Oh yeah, he's kind of weird, but at least he's nice.
Absent: That sounds strange coming from you...
Satan: Well, got to go now. (runs away)
Dawn: Your friend's strange. Whatever, let's go talk to the professor. (Skips inside)Tra la la la la la la.

Absent: You remembered my name! (sigh)
Rowan: You DID steal my Pokemon. (glares) He does seem happy with you, so you can keep him if you do me a favor.
Absent: I don't do THOSE kind of things, just so you know.
Rowan: Nothing like that. (to self:Dammit). I just want you to record data on Pokemon by catching them.
Absent: Don't I have to research them?
Rowan: No, you just use this Pokedex, and when you catch them, you will have all their information.
Absent: Your job is really easy, isn't it?
Rowan: ...

Absent: Nice save.
Dawn: You are getting him because you are good to Pokemon. If you weren't I would have to kill you. Hahaha, I'm being so serious though.

My adventure?
Did we really need to know about the inter-species relationship he's got going? And no, I will not try to guess.

I don't think I'm very comfortable being here anymore. It's time for us to leave, being followed by Dawn.

Absent: Where you lead, I shall follow (under breath:that ass) mmm.

OK, so Pokemon Centers are where we can heal our Pokemon, and Poke Marts are places where we can buy items, get it? Got it? Good.

Dawn: I think you should let your mom know you will be leaving.
Absent: You are right, I will go tell her now. (and awaaayyyy I go!)

Absent: I didn't even tell you anything yet.
Mom: A mother has ways of knowing. (hides phone)
Absent: Well yeah, I will be gone for a long time.

Mom: I know how absent minded you can be. So this will help you remember what you did last.
Absent: Was that pun really necessary?
Mom: Yes, it was. I'm so jealous, you're so young and full of life, and get to explore the world. While I'll just be here all bored and alone, (gives puppy dog eyes) yup, bored and alone.
Absent: Sorry I can't take you and excuse me as I go into voice-over mode.
So our mom is jealous of us, and we are knee deep in the game without it actually getting started, how much longer can it take? Wait, is that Satan's mom? DAMMIT!

HIS Mom: Oddest thing, he told me he was leaving, then he left. Isn't that strange?
Absent: Yes, the rational thing to do is to say he is leaving and stay there. That outrageous Satan.
HIS Mom: I had to give him this, oh well, guess he won't be getting it. (bats eyes)
Mom: Don't be retarded, Absent will deliver it.
Absent: Yeah, I'll do it. (under breath: Thanks for volunteering me, I hope I get paid for this)

So I have a lead. Now to take the parcel to Satan. My mom wishes me luck, and Satan's mom, well, just stands there(AWKWARD). Going through Sandgem, we bump into Dawn again, where she has one more thing to teach.

Absent: Well, I already know how, and I will teach everyone else myself, if you don't mind. Now give me some Pokeballs and run along.

She had to go, and yet she wanted to teach me something I already knew? Women, who will ever understand them?

Now for a brief lesson on catching Pokemon:

That was much better than Dawn's explanation IMO. Then again, I may just be saying that since it's my own. In any case, this update has come to the end, real excitement is coming up soon.