Let's Play Pokemon Pearl Part 6: Late Night Stroll Through the Park

Their parents set up the meeting, but have a secret for them.

Machamp: This may shock you both.
Machampina: Damn, just tell them. One of you is adopted.
RokHardAbs: That's not a surprise, BrownChop looks nothing like you guys.
Machampina: Actually, you're the adopted one. Plus, we don't like you.

RokHardAbs was obviously upset at the news, and will not be joining us for a while to cool off. Another update: Kricketot has fallen ill and the Pokemon Center tried all they can to help him...

Good riddance to a horribly useless Pokemon. Now let's get on to serious business.
Just south of Floaroma Town, is a path leading to:

TM09 - Bullet Seed - Hits foe 2-5 times with seeds.
This attack is the grass-type's equivalent of Fury Swipes.

Heading north, we meet with many trainers and items.
Rt. 205 extends between Floaroma Town and Eterna City, with Eterna Forest in the dead center.

Camper: Ponyta lvl 14
On an ironic note: He never left for Eterna Forest.

Hm, what do we have here?

Aw, fuck. It was just a X Attack, I think I'll just leave that there before the onslaught of battles.
X Attack - Boost your Pokemon's attack for the battle.

Is this the game's excuse to throw somebody with Rock, Ground, and Fighting types at us? Throw a Hiker near the forest, I guess it works.

It was a trick, she made us smell a gloom.

It's even longer when you just walk in circles instead of going on the path to the city.

Hiker: Geodude lvl 11, Machop lvl 11, Geodude lvl 11, Bidoof lvl11
Aroma Lady: Budew lvl 14
Camper: Geodude lvl 14
Hiker: Onix lvl 14
Empowered Woman: Machop lvl 15

To be politically correct, I changed the name of the 'Battle Girl'.

I wonder sometimes, if it's a spray bottle, how do you have such a limited amount of steps? Couldn't you just spray a bit now and a bit later?

Absent: Pokemon is NOT a game!! This is real life!

Picnicker: Piplup lvl 14

In the middle of Rt 205, there is a Brothel. That guy with the hat heals your Pokemon, while the girl....heals you...

She's been there for a long time, but still doesn't know what there is? What a loser.
Picnicker: You're the loser, playing Pokemon.
She's got a point...
Picnicker: Shinx lvl 12, Pachirisu lvl 12

If steps leading to nothing wasn't an obvious location of a hidden item, I don't know what would be. They should do this, but set a trap to paralyze our Pokemon, just to fuck with us.

We finally reach a re-used idea. Just like Viridian Forest, Eterna Forest can be skipped after you get to use Cut, and in both cases, it's completely pointless (unless you want some free items).

Well, what do we have here?
Absent: I'm Absent, it's a pleasure, Cheryl.
Cheryl: Would you accompany me through the forest. You're cu--, I'm scared to go alone. (bats eyelashes)
Absent: Of course I'll go with you. I'll protect you no matter what.
Cheryl: You're so nice. In exchange...
She completely heals all our Pokemon after each battle. I think she got her Chansey from nurse Joy.

To the west of the entrance is an Antidote, which was not used once in all these double battles. They should save these items for when I need them.

What kind of horrible Psychic are these? I sense Miss Cleo can give a better reading. As far as that bond is concerned, I've never been a man that was into bondage.

Bug Catcher/Lass: Pachirisu lvl 14, Wurmple lvl 9, Beautifly lvl 13, Silcoon lvl 11
Psychic Duo: Abra lvl 15(x2)
Bug Catcher Duo: Wurmple lvl 9, Burmy lvl 12, Kricketune lvl 12, Dustox lvl 13, Cascoon lvl 11
Psychic Duo: Meditite lvl 15, Psyduck lvl 15

These trainers were a piece of cake. Cheryl could have made it through with ease without my help, but glad she came along and healed me. It is time for her to depart and do whatever she needed to do past this forest.

Cheryl: Thanks, Absent, I owe you.
Absent: Is there anything you can give me? *Wink wink*
Cheryl: Sorry, no. I have no items or anything, well bye.

We don't even get anything extra after escorting her the whole way? What a rip-off.
To make things worse, here is the standard bridge full of fishermen.

Absent: Oh, you know it honey. *Roar* (Claws at air)
Fisherman: Goldeen lvl 14


No, no, no, WHY!?!? Why do they keep making the one fisherman with six Magikarp that only Splash?

Fisherman: Magikarp lvl who gives a fuck(x6)

Fisherman: Magikarp lvl 10(x2,why?), Goldeen lvl 13
South of the the Fishermen bridge is an item they need more than me:

Hmm, "History Living"? Wonder if that's going to add to the plot somehow.

Absent: Really? What did you do about it.
Person: Laugh and flaunted the fact I still had all my Pokemon.
I wouldn't want to have a friend like him, what a dick.

Though I hate saying "That's what she said"

I'll counter that joke with this:

That's what I said!

We know Team Galactic is evil and have evil intentions, so how the hell do they have their own building that they can steal people's Pokemon. Wait, are there even cops here? I haven't seen Officer Jenny around.

Looking for Team Galactic's hideout, we run into this random girl.
Absent: Yeah, I stole...
Cynthia: Who cares? I'm a trainer, named Cynthia. Who are you?
Absent: I am Absent, I'm from...
Cynthia: I didn't ask all that. Are you that attention starved that you want to tell your life story to anyone you meet?
Absent: Fine, I'll stop
Cynthia: Shut up and listen already. Here in Eterna City there's a statue of a mythical and all-powerful Pokemon. Maybe if you spoke less and did more, you could see it for yourself.
Absent: Wow, that's cool.
Cynthia: You really don't listen. If you don't stop, I won't try to help you.
Absent:...

HM01 - Cut - It's been the same deal since Pokemon Red/Blue.

After being so rude to us, she's actually pretty nice. Before we can use that HM, we must do something.

That's right, another Gym battle, and is that an item to the right?
This gives me TWO cliffhangers:
-Will Absent defeat the Gym Leader?
-What is in that Pokeball?
The answers are probably, Yes and something worthless.